What Cannot Be Unseen
by Story Please
Summary: Albus Dumbledore finds himself in a very awkward position when he finds himself in the role of spy one lazy summer afternoon in Hogwarts castle.
Author's Note: This is a one-shot thank you for my friend Corvus, who was so kind to look at my writing when my eyes were going crossed and my brain was about to turn into mushy potato.

* * *

 **What Cannot Be Unseen**

Albus Dumbledore considered himself to be an open-minded wizard. Which was to say that he generally thought that most intelligent beings deserve equal rights and had very few qualms about what consenting adults decided to do in the privacy of their bedrooms. That said, when he happened by the Potions classroom that late summer evening, he was wholly unprepared for what he found inside.

" _Ahhhhhhhnnnnn_!"

Albus paused, his eyebrows going higher and higher until he thought they might fly off of his face and attach themselves to the ceiling. Never, in all of his days, had he heard such a moan within the confines of the school. Certainly, there were no students in the castle, as classes would not be beginning for a month, but that didn't mean-

" _Hermione_! Why would you do that?"

"Ehehehehe...I told you that I would show you no mercy, and I _meant_ it!"

"But...I... _need_ those!"

"They're _mine_ now!"

"Please! It's...drafty in here!"

"Well...I _might_ be willing to give them back...for a price…"

Albus tried to simply turn around and walk away, but his curiosity was too great. He was aware that he should have known better, but after that one time that he walked in to find the Fat Lady had slipped into Dippet's portrait in the Headmaster's office and they were snogging like no tomorrow, Albus knew that there was very little chance that he would be surprised.

Peering in through the crack in the door, his eyes widened and he sucked in a sharp breath.

A sight he'd never seen (or contemplated wishing to see) met his eyes. There, standing completely naked with his back to the door, was the scrawny, pale and scarred backside of none other than Professor Severus Snape. The new Arithmancy professor, Hermione Granger, stood, bent forward over the desk with an evil grin on her face as she twirled a pair of gray boxer shorts around one finger.

"What would you have me do?" Snape sounded somewhat resigned to his fate.

Albus wondered to himself whether or not he should intervene. After all, it wasn't forbidden for professors to have romantic relationships as long as it didn't affect their work performance, but it did seem as though Professor Granger was placing the dour Potions professor under a great deal of distress. He resolved to continue to watch and see if it truly was as it seemed.

Hermione grinned and placed the boxer shorts on the table, picking up a deck of cards with one hand and seamlessly shuffling cards back and forth between her hands like a muggle card magician.

"I warned you that my mother taught me a mean game of poker," Hermione said smugly, "but you didn't listen."

"That may be the case, Professor Granger," Snape replied with a hint of embarrassment in his voice, his hands obviously covering his nudity in the front, "but I never said that we were playing for clothing. Only that we would forfeit what the other asked."

Albus could not imagine Severus naked, not that he'd ever had the urge. Somehow he had this idea that the black robes that the Potions professor wore were simply part of his body. Albus could even imagine the man taking a shower with the damnable things on.

"And you seem to forget that _you_ never specified what I could ask for," Hermione replied, smirking as she placed the shuffled deck on the desk. "Now, then. It's my deal. Are you ready?"

"You still haven't named your price."

"Fine, then," Hermione said, grinning like a cat that ate the canary, "Let's go double or nothing. If I win this hand, I get... _you_."

She bent forward and pressed her finger against his chest over the place where his heart beat.

"And if you lose?"

"You get your clothing back... _and_ all of mine," Hermione replied with a shrug, "Loser has to get back to their quarters without a scrap of decency, and let me remind you that Gryffindor tower is much further from the Potions classroom than your quarters here in the dungeon. In fact, if I remember correctly, your personal quarters connect with this classroom."

"You have obviously done your homework, Professor," Snape said quietly, "Very well, I accept your terms. Let us begin."

He sat down on the wooden chair across from Hermione, which looked to be rather uncomfortable, even for those with clothing on. From the door, Albus did not want to think about the possibility of slivers in certain unmentionably delicate areas. It made him shudder. Still...he would need to stay and see if things got out of hand. Then he would intervene if necessary. That was what the Headmaster was for, after all.

The cards were dealt, and, though Albus had only played poker a few times, he got the idea that Snape's hand was rather good. After a long determination, Snape placed one card facedown on the table.

"Very well," Hermione said magnanimously, drawing a card and handing it to Snape, who pulled it into his hand without comment.

Hermione placed three cards down and drew three more from the deck, then looked at her hand with a slight frown.

"Don't look at me," Snape said flatly, his voice revealing nothing, "You're the one who shuffled them."

"I call," Hermione said tersely.

Severus set down the cards on the table, and Albus inwardly cursed. He could not see the cards from his vantage point, but he was rather concerned that announcing his presence was probably a bad idea for all involved.

"What?!" Hermione stood and took a step back, knocking over the chair she'd been sitting in. "That's...impossible."

"I assure you that it isn't," Snape replied, sitting back and sounding incredibly proud of himself. "What do they say in the old muggle westerns? Ah yes. 'Read 'em and weep.'"

"That's a royal flush!" Hermione sputtered. "Do you have any idea how rare that is?"

"Just because it is rare does not mean that it is impossible," Severus replied. "Now, then, I believe that I shall like to collect my winnings."

He grabbed his boxer shorts from the table as Hermione seethed with her back against the blank blackboard, her arms crossed with frustration. Slipping them on quickly (Albus looked away to give the man some dignity), Severus stood with one hand on his hip and pointed at Hermione.

"Now, then," he said, "I would like the rest of it."

Hermione nodded dumbly, her face still frozen with pulled her wand from her sleeve and his clothing appeared on the desk, all of it neatly folded. His wand was the last to appear. It seemed that Hermione had taken that first, otherwise Severus would have easily been able to conjure up new clothing garments at will.

Severus shook his head.

"I do not believe that you heard me the first time, Hermione," he said, his voice a dangerous whisper, "Give. Me. The. Rest. Of. My. Winnings."

Hermione paled as she realized exactly what he meant. She pulled out her wand, but he shook his head again.

"I desire my winnings to be paid non-magically," he said, his voice full of irony, "After all, that is how you took your winnings from me."

Hermione looked away and began fiddling with the buttons at her neck. She was wearing a newer style of button-up robes, which gave her more of a figure while wearing them. She seemed to go slower than she truly needed to, and it was obvious that her hands were quivering as she undid the buttons. She also had to unbutton the small silver buttons on her wrists, which took another several minutes.

"I am waiting, Hermione," Severus said, tapping his foot against the cold stone floor.

Albus thought it was odd that the Potions master had not yet begun to put his clothing back on other than the boxer shorts he'd grabbed earlier, and even though he had absolutely no interest in seeing Granger's underthings (for the very obvious reason of being as gay as a summer's day), he could not seem to pull himself away from watching the scene unfolding before him. He was filled with a mixture of awe and horror so acute, that it was almost like he'd taken a breath of fresh air for the first time in ages.

Hermione finally pulled the robes over her head and threw them at Severus angrily. He caught it and began to move towards the table, walking precisely around it until he was standing next to her. He turned to the side, his face in profile from Dumbledore's perspective, and grinned cruelly. Hermione covered her hands over her chest, but it wasn't because she was indecent. Underneath the robes, she wore a comfortable-looking, white button-up shirt and a knee-length skirt that looked as though it would swish a bit while walking. It was obvious that she was wearing some sort of panty hose as well, as her legs were at least two shades darker than the rest of her.

"Come on, then," Severus purred, "Where's the rest of it, then?"

"Surely you're not serious!" Hermione exclaimed, "I'll be...naked! All the way up to Gryffindor tower!"

"Well, you could arrange to stay here if you would like," he replied with a smirk, "though I doubt you'd be interested in roosting in the rafters like a proper dungeon bat."

Hermione flushed scarlet and said nothing. Finally, she seemed to gather her courage and began undoing the buttons on her shirt even more slowly than she had with the robes. She didn't seem to notice how Severus had begun to blush a bit as well, especially when she reached the halfway point and her bra poked out slightly where the shirt was unbuttoned.

Pulling the shirt off at last, she threw it at him, her aim slightly less violent as before, but her eyes were full of embarrassment. Severus gathered her shirt under his arm with her robes and took a step closer.

Hermione pulled the button and zipper loose on her skirt and slid out of it, leaving her standing before him wearing her bra, underwear and a rather sexy looking garter set that held up her thigh-high panty hose. It wasn't fancy lingerie by any stretch of the imagination, but upon seeing it, Severus gulped fairly loudly before catching the skirt that had been tossed at him.

Hermione unhooked the panty hose from the garter belt and bent over at the waist to roll each down slowly, throwing them to Severus when she was finished. He caught them easily and tucked them neatly in the front pocket of his jacket, which still lay folded on the desk to his right. She then began to unhook her bra, grumbling when it wouldn't do what she wanted.

"Erm...Severus?" She asked, finally, "Can you...um...help me? The eyelet is stuck."

He strode towards her, turning momentarily to drape the clothing under his arm onto the desk.

Hermione lifted her hair and turned away from him.

"I know the last one is tricky and tends to get stuck, but I really like this bra. Promise me that you'll return it to me."

But Severus seemed to be too entranced by her bare skin to reply, his fingers brushing against her back as he helped get the stubborn hook to open. He even bent down to breathe in her scent near her neck and if Albus hadn't known better, it would have looked as though Severus Snape was a vampire, about to take Hermione as his meal. He slipped one of the straps off of her shoulder, his body going rigid with excitement when she shivered under his touch. His fingers were gripping her shoulders, then, and he was breathing hotly into her ear, his body pressing against hers.

Hermione let out a tiny cry of pleasure and turned her head towards where he was leaning over her shoulder.

"There is only a tiny layer of cotton between us," he said huskily, rubbing her shoulders and upper arms gently, "I want you to remove it."

Hermione dropped her arms and her bra fell to the floor. She didn't even attempt to throw it at him. Instead, she placed her hands over his and pulled them down from her shoulders to her hips until they were touching the soft elastic waistband of her underwear.

"You...do it," she said hesitantly, arching her back so that her arse was angled slightly upward until it was pressed slightly against the very obvious erection under his boxer shorts.

"You do know that you are making it rather difficult for me to...refrain...from _scandalous_ activities." His voice was dripping with sex and it was obvious by his body language that he desired her, but he still seemed hesitant.

Hermione bit her lip, obviously aroused as well. "I thought you'd never ask," she panted, finally, "Why else would I play such a game with you?"

Snape's eyes went wide for a moment and he pulled at the elastic of her waistband until they were midway down her hips.

"So you are saying that you wanted me to do _this_?" he asked, bending down and licking slowly up the length of Hermione's spine gently as she bucked and cried out in response.

"Y-yes!" she finally cried, her lip quivering.

"I see," he replied, a small grin growing on his lips, "So, then, you would not be opposed to _this_ , then."

With that, he'd latched himself to her neck, nibbling and licking her most sensitive places until she nearly collapsed backwards onto him, panting heavily.

" _Hermione_ ," he whispered, his voice full of pent-up desire and longing as he turned her head to the side and looked at her in the eye, "What about this?"

He kissed her gently at first, the intensity building between them until they were hungrily exploring each other's mouths, their bodies grinding against one another in an almost animalistic manner.

Albus was shocked. Not only had things gone from some sort of weird hazing ritual to a torrid tryst, but he couldn't believe that someone like Hermione would actively desire someone as old and ugly as Snape. In fact, it seemed odd that Severus would still be at Hogwarts anyway, considering that he'd been murdered by a big, bloody snake. And, for that matter, Dumbledore wondered how he himself had survived, considering that he'd distinctly remembered being flung off the top of the Astronomy tower by a well-timed _Avada Kedavra_.

" _OH_."

A loud crack sounded out in the hallway outside the Potions classroom, startling the two snogging professors and Severus immediately froze, pulling himself up to this full height and moving towards the door at a remarkable speed. He threw the door open and his eyes went wide as he heard the echo of a familiar voice fading away, but then he blinked rapidly and bent down to pick something up off of the floor. Turning abruptly, he slammed the door shut and warded it securely with his wand.

"What was that?" Hermione called out fearfully from where she'd hidden herself behind the desk.

"Apparently, he won't even let the grave interfere with his infernal meddling," Severus replied, holding the lemon drop between his thumb and forefinger before tossing it in the wastebin next to the desk. "But, oddly enough, I think that somehow, though I can't tell you how I know it, that we will not be hearing from him again."

Hermione looked at him skeptically until the meaning of his words seemed to sink in.

"Are you saying that Dumbledore's ghost was spying on us...when we were doing…. _THIS_?!" She cried out in horror as she gestured wildly with her hands indicating the discarded clothing and their mutual state of undress.

"Not anymore," he said with a soft smile, holding out a hand to help her up. " _Never_ again, Hermione. He's gone for good this time. I think that seeing us snogging pushed him over the edge into non-corporeal being."

Hermione smiled deviously at this.

"Well, then," she countered, "I suppose we'd better make _absolutely_ sure."

A hastily cast Cushioning Charm was all that Severus could manage before he could no longer contain himself and hastily helped Hermione out of her last remaining shred of clothing. His own was not far behind.

His eyes were wide open with desire as he slid inside of her, watching her eyes mirror his as they gasped and moved together until they reached completion. In the end, they lay together, their bodies slick with sweat and spent desire, their arms wrapped tightly around each other as they wondered at the circumstances of all that had happened.

"I hope I won't have to brave a trip to Gryffindor tower in this state," Hermione quipped, her tone of voice only half-joking.

" _Never_ ," Severus replied adamantly, squeezing her tightly, "As far as I'm concerned, you may as well move into my room with me, for I do not think that I shall be able to manage sleeping alone now that I have first-hand knowledge of the alternative."

"I see," Hermione said, smiling wide, "In that case, what do you say about the best of three? Whoever brings the other to orgasm first, wins."

"I think," Severus purred, smirking back at her and hugging her close, "that you have yourself a bet, Hermione. But first, how about moving our wager to a more... _comfortable_ location? Say, my bed?"

Hermione flushed and kissed him on the tip of his nose, biting her lower lip gently in anticipation as she met his eyes with hers.

"I think," she replied, "that you are the smartest person I have ever met, Severus Snape."

"I see," he replied, arching one eyebrow as he said the first thing that came to his mind, "but _you_ are the sexiest."

Both of them went scarlet at that admission, though for two completely different reasons.

But, in the hours, days, months and years to come, they would find that embarrassment was a small price to pay for honest, enduring love.


End file.
